Last night I had another one of those awful dreams where I wake up still sad because I was so upset inside the dream, and then a few minutes later I remember what happened in the dream to make me so sad, and I realize it hasn't actually happened, which lifts my mood a little. But what happened is still really upsetting.
In my dream, for some reason Mom and I were walking down the road, and this road has shown up at least one other time in my nighttime subconscious ever since it happened, because it happened on that same road. The road never makes me feel disgusting in my dreams though, like you would think it would since thinking about it makes me feel disgusting. But nothing good ever seems to happen on this road. Also I was walking down the road in the opposite direction that I was driving when it happened, which also may be something interesting to note for any dream interpreters out there.
While we were walking down this road, and for some reason as some points I sled down the road on some sort of tobaggon type deal, Mom told me that she was getting married again. And I was pissed. And I think I was pissed because she was either re-marrying Paul or getting married to someone whom I felt was absolutely awful.
We got to the end of the road (and in actuality, we would have ended up at the creepy cemetery, but in my dream world there was the foundation for a house or something there) and Mom's side of the family was there getting ready for the wedding, along with my new step-father, and some of his family. And all I could think about was how awful all of these family members were to let my mom do this to herself. I tried to reason with her, but it didn't work.
I didn't stay in this dream world long enough to see them get married, but I assume they did.
Also, while Mom and I were still walking down the awful road, we had a spat about me living in the house for too long and about me always going back to the house during vacations from school. I argued that I had no where else to go, but she said she didn't want me around. This hurt me a lot, but I knew it was true and I knew I had to move on. But I had no idea how to, and I was scared.
I don't think Mom would ever actually make me move out though. But that has been something I've been worried about, where I'm going to live once I'm done with college.
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